They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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