Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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