he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
