If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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