I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
