Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
