god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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