morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
