He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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