I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
