how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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