im drinking this country out of the recession.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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