Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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