are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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