After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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