Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
