He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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