and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize