so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
