im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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