Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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