I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
