i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
