No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
