What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
