i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
