i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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