If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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