How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
