Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
