I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
