I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
