hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
