Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize