Your tits are I can't wait for
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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