I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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