Are we in a gay sports bar?
"it" just moved
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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