Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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