Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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