MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
