He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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