I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize