don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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