The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
