hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
