We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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