I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
