There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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