some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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