just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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