Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
