opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
