Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
