he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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