The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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