Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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