My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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