White coat. Heels.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
