I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
