were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
