walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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