Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
