Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
