So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
