Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize