Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
