i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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