Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
