Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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