Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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