he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
